Remember When

note:  I’ve found my writing style to be a bit different lately.  possibly due to this current phase of life I’m in:  my head is foggy, my heart is mushy, and my hands are full. thanks for bearing with me as I find my new voice 🙂

Dear N,

Remember when we went to see Catfish in theaters, on a school night, at 11pm?  When we only had exactly two loads of laundry each week?  When we changed our sheets only once a week?


Remember when every night was date night?  When the determining factor in picking a restaurant was the menu and not how close it was or how high-chair friendly it is?

Remember when our cars were spotless?  When we could haul stuff around in the backseats because there weren’t 2 car seats and an explosion of toys?  When we didn’t look in the rearview mirror to see a little green frog-shaped potty?

Remember when we took a hip-hop dance class just for the fun of it (what were we thinking?)  And that time we slept in the guest bedroom for 6 weeks  just because we could?  When we used to sleep in and make biscuits and gravy on the weekend with those little fancy plates?


Remember when we used to turn the heat off at night to save a few pennies?  When we didn’t have to hide in the pantry to eat something sweet after dinner?  When we used to have “reading parties” at the supper table because we both enjoyed the silence? 

Remember when we used to just pick up and take off for the weekend (why didn’t we do that more??)?  When we picked up our phones, made a phone call, talked as long as we wanted, and then mindlessly put them down?  Remember when we thought our little ball of grey fluff was the cutest thing ever and that we’d never be able to give anything as much love as we gave to him?

I don’t much either.

Those were the old days, but they weren’t the good ones.  No, I’m quite certain that is what we have now,


The best

While this week has held many less-than-pleasant-moments (certainly not the 24-pound-2-year-molar-teether being the root of it :))
God has given me some sweet little moments to see me through.  And remind me how much I really do love her.  No matter what.

MG and Atticus played chase.  He would run away, stop and let her catch up, and just when she was within reach, he would dart off again.

This repeated for 15 minutes.

On the 15th try, I asked her if she was ready to go upstairs for nap.  She was.  At the top of the stairs Atti was waiting for us and let her give him a little pat.

Then he took off running and she chased him under our bed…..where the white flag was raised.

Naptime sequence commenced, but just before placing her in the crib, I looked in the doorway to find him watching us.  I picked him up and over to be petted.  She held out her arms to embrace him.  He resisted at first, but then, just like a veteran pet, relaxed and let her squeeze him for a good minute.

My cat and my child are officially playing together.

We went to a play group in a large room with a lot of different stations of toys.  MG stayed close by my side and asked me to accompany her to the different areas.  As she became more comfortable, I would let her take a small lead and watch her play from a distance.  Every once in a while, she would look up and make eye contact to make sure I was still there.  We always have a secret smile that we share with each other in these moments.  Towards the end, however, she had become a little too comfortable and wandered off to the other side of the room.  I had my eye on her the entire time, but wanted to see what she would do.  She neared her desired item but soon realized I wasn’t behind her.  I watched her look up at all of the adults around her trying to recognize one.  She walked up to the nearest lady with a baby and from a distance I could read her lips saying  “Ma-ma? Ma-ma?”.  And that is when I ran over and reassured her I was right there.  It melted my heart to see her miss me like that.  I won’t ever let that happen again, baby!

The day before:
It was naptime, but someone was NOT taking a nap.  I could hear her rustling around in her crib so I decided to go intervene.  Before I went in however, I peeked in through the crack in her doorway.  She was kneeling in her crib, rocking her baby that she had swaddled, and was giving it quiet kisses “muah!”.  One of the sweetest things I have ever seen.  I watched for a few minutes and then tiptoed away.  Not too long after, she finally fell asleep.  Baby tucked safely under her arm.


If that is the good, then I will take the bad most any day.  Love her.