Eight months. We’ve arrived at the final month of pregnancy and I still can’t quite wrap my mind around the concept that we have another baby, another daughter, another LIFE coming into our family.. N and I keep remarking how quickly this pregnancy has flown by, and it feels truer than ever before. Since we didn’t have months of planning it beforehand, and only the knowledge of it already a month into it, it has felt short by all standards. Regardless, here we are. In those ways, I think Surprise Babies are definitely the way to go.
February is the shortest month, which means we only have four more weeks left until our due date! This is the month I begin to meet with my doctor weekly, prep for labor and delivery, and wake up every day wondering if today is the day? Meanwhile baby is the size of a pineapple & fattening up for birth while maturing her lungs and brain. I hope she lands somewhere close to #1 & 2’s birth weights (8lbs, 10&11ozs), and slightly less than Sib’s (9lbs, 2oz).
Considering I’ve gained the same this time as the first two girls, it looks likely, but you never know. (for some reason, I gained a few more pounds with Sib. Some of that was just pounds, but some of it was also water weight. I swelled really badly the last month with her. Thankfully, I’ve avoided that so far with this one. Also avoided heartburn and had it the worst with Sib…? Insomnia, on the other hand, has been so bad…pregnancy roulette, a “fun” game each time!)
N and I were saying just this morning how maybe this will be the baby we “actually get to enjoy”. Having MG was a wonderful, love-intoxicating experience, but we also didn’t know what we were doing and missed out on some enjoyable moments simply because she was our first. With both Bea and Sib, we highly anticipated their arrivals and sought to enjoy them as much as possible, but we also moved with both of them when they were each still under 6 months (and each move brought a new job, new house, and it’s own share of hardships). We also bought a new car and a new house in Sibby’s first year of life, i.e. not exactly peaceful times. But this baby, with this one we are already settled, have no major life changes on the horizon, and no large expenses to make in order to fit her into her life. Maybe this will be our redemption baby.
As predicted in an earlier monthly post, January is the month where everything finally came together for this baby. After a December focusing on the holidays, plus weeks of sickness, January was a breath of fresh air. We had a, somewhat unexpected, but still wonderful ten day break from school, as ice and snow fell at just the right times surrounding MLK weekend. N was off for much of that time and built her crib. He also helped me purge closets and storage spaces, and we got Sib moved up and into her new room (to eventually be a shared nursery).
We were supposed to take our babymoon over MLK weekend, with the promise of an extra day off, but the ice and snow pushed our plans back one week. It turned out to be a great weekend away anyway, as we saved money on the hotel alone (i.e. not a holiday weekend), and the weather pushed up into the upper 60’s, which gave us plenty of incentive to explore Atlanta by foot.
We ate so much delicious food that we had to pace ourselves to actually be able to enjoy each meal (i.e. not eating dinner until about 8:30pm). Also included in this trip was a quintessential IKEA run, giving us the finishing touches for the nursery.
Way back in October when I bought the baby’s carseat, I bought it during a deal that would give me a $100 Buy, Buy, Baby gift card to use in the future. I finally received that and used it to buy some essentials like bottles, pacis, and clean, white newborn onesies (to be embroidered, of course!). We are fully stocked on diapers for the first six weeks or so, and thanks to my sister and her help today, freezer meals as well.
Finally, I got the newborn/0-3mo clothes out of storage and they are sorted, washed, and hung. Added to these are my own stash that I’ve personally made, thanks to tons of creative and physical energy this month (I don’t know why it’s lasted so long with this pregnancy, but I’m enjoying it while it’s here!)
It seemed with Sib I never truly got the nesting bug, at least not to the measure I’ve had it this month (maybe that’s because God was saving it for when I would truly need it–AFTER she was born). But I’ve been so happy being able to scratch it over and over as we check these little things off our list as we prepare.
Though not physically speaking, I feel like she could come tomorrow and I would be ready for her. That feels so good. This pregnancy has me constantly flip flopping between two opposite, but equally strong emotions. One is “this has gone by too fast”. And the other being, “I hope she hurries up because I can’t wait to meet her”. That is the running theme of this pregnancy. It plagues me constantly.
The crazy thing is, she’s going to complicate our little routine-oriented life so much. I’ll be tied to a feeding schedule every three or so hours. I’ll be working around naps and won’t be able to just pick up and go anymore. And I’ll have an extra little body to dress, tend to, and tote around; one that is 100% dependent on me. But oh, I can’t wait to meet her. And I’m so tired of being large and pregnant. So tired. It’s hard to savor something in the moment that isn’t exactly enjoyable, but i know in just a few short weeks, I’ll look back with fondness to this small season of prepping. I also know I will wail as she crosses each milestone, knowing it is my last time to raise my own. So I’m ready, but not in a hurry, if that makes sense.
This baby to come and I, we are bonded together right now. Completely physically bonded. But our emotional connection has not yet begun. That will begin in the days that we meet her and learn her personality. We’ve made physical provision for her in our house, but we do not have emotional provision for her yet. There is mystery surrounding her story and how she will enter our life. There is a blank space in my mind when I try to picture her. I do not know and love her like I do my other three. There are no endearing mannerisms of hers I know, nor physical attributes I remark over. Not yet. But I do so look forward to falling in love with her the same way I did with the others.
One more month…and counting.