Well this wouldn’t be a birthday without a little video tribute!
Well this wouldn’t be a birthday without a little video tribute!
It is the eve of your SECOND birthday and I am sitting outside of your door listening to you whip yourself up into your usual pre-sleep frenzy. I love this time of day. The satisfaction of knowing that another day is done, predicated by my interpretation of what “you thought of the day” via your personal conversation.
When I look at this photo from your first birthday, I still see a lot of my baby. But when I look at your two year pictures, I don’t see a baby anymore, I see a little girl. A little girl with a whispy blonde bob and the most expressive blue eyes. All this has happened within the course of a year.
But your physical appearance is far from the only thing that has changed. It is hard to believe that this time last year you still weren’t taking any steps and now I am chasing behind you trying to keep up.
You have hit the vocabulary explosion that I questioned would ever come about six months ago. Every day you add new words, some I’m even pretty sure that I didn’t teach you! You love your nursery rhymes like Wheels on the Bus and Patty Cake and you can even recognize a few letters from the alphabet. That I KNOW I didn’t teach you. But I do love rediscovering all of the O’s in my life: from the stop signs to the cover of books to the scrollwork pattern on the table. You know colors, you are learning to count, you are a fabulous puzzle constructor, and you imitate just about everything Mama does. You are showing me the kind of Mommy and Big Sister you will be by the love and care you show for your own. I am so thankful that God has blessed you with such a gentle soul. It will serve you well in life. And it is an underestimate to say that I love seeing the world through your eyes.
There is so much left to discover, my dear. I can sense your hesitation at the edge of your discovery. You are starting to realize what a wide and wonderful world is out there and you are gently, carefully reaching out to find it.
I urge you on, dear. Your Daddy and I are right here behind you. We will sacrifice our lives to protect you from harm. And in case you haven’t already noticed, we are cheering embarrassingly loud for you; reveling in your victories and retelling your accomplishments. We are so proud of who you are and where you are going.
Our hearts are so full of love for you. I do not know how it is possible to love you more than we do right now. But each day and each discovery brings us even more love for you because it brings us more knowledge of you. I cannot imagine how we will feel a year from now.
Grow, discover, and don’t stop holding our hands.
We love you ever more,
Mama and Dada
Today we got a glimpse of our Mayby!
In honor of November 20 marking 9-years of being together (with only a slight mishap in there), I present the final chapter of our story:
(in case you missed it: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 , part 5 , part 6)
We left off last time with a crazy engagement story and plans for the future. Today, boy and girl will finally tie the knot!
I remember as soon as we were engaged thinking, “finally! I can start buying wedding magazines and dreaming up our day.” I wasn’t one of those girls who had her wedding planned since 5th grade. I felt it was important to save that fun until it was due time. Well, when due time came, I was horribly overwhelmed. Colors, cuts, cakes, charts, caterers…there were way too many options. The one and only thing that I felt attached too was my color scheme. Ever since I could remember, yellow had been my favorite color. Specifically, a pale, chiffon color was what I envisioned. Well, that dream died a quick death as my florist said, “That’s going to make you look like crap.” And she was right. A line-up of yellow dresses against my ivory one would do nothing to flatter me and it would cast my dress as old and yellowed. Instead she suggested an ivory, black, gold and chartreuse number. And I loved it. It was on that day that I realized this wedding truly was not “about me” as so many bridal magazines had wanted me to believe. All of the decisions I was making were more for what would look best, taste best, and go-over best with our guests. So we laid aside our “visions” and listened carefully to suggestions from our (three) wedding planners (!) and tailored our day accordingly.
As soon as graduation was over, I was ready to high-tail it out of school and get home and wrap up the final details of our wedding. But wait, I haven’t explained how we finally settled on July as our wedding month.
Well, soon after we were engaged, we finally took a look at the timeline. Somewhere along the way, we had entertained the idea of getting married in December following my graduation or the following summer when we both would be done with school and have a year of work behind us. But when we really began examining the details, one kept popping up to us: July. As in that July. Only 7 months away. Afterall, my student teaching would be done in the same city where N would be working. Why not begin our lives then. December, as beautiful as it can be, can be completely unpredictable weather-wise and already full of family obligations. Why add another one? So July began to feel right and suddenly we found ourselves planning a summer wedding. With only seven months to go. From 500 miles away. Thankfully, my mom was all over it and it all came together very beautifully if I do say so myself :).
Anyway, two months after graduation seemed an eternity away and I can remember the days passing so s-l-o-w-l-y that summer. In between graduation and our wedding, we had about 47 other weddings to attend. The weekends were marked off based on how many weddings we had left and each one stirred up more anticipation and excitement for our own.
Because we lived in separate states at the time, we each had our own tasks to complete. I was on wedding detail and he was in charge of finding us a place to live and securing jobs. Clearly mine was the more important task 😉
Finally, after what felt like the longest wait of our lives, wedding week rolled around. With it came massive storms and wind damage. And as of two days before the big event, the church still did not have power. This cannot be happening. Although we crossed our fingers and made back-up plans (but what about air conditioning? the two videos we spent hours working on? the fact the July 22 is usually the hottest day of the year??), the power issues were resolved just in time (although we had some collateral damage as the hotels lost all of our reservations). With the storms came a low front of cooler weather. Previously, July 22, 2005 had been the hottest day of the year. July 22, 2006 turned around with record lows. It was a crystal clear day with not a drop of rain, low humidity, and plenty of sun. In other words, perfect.
I remember waking up on that day, my wedding day, feeling every emotion. Joy, for the new life I was entering. Sadness, for the life I was leaving behind. Excitement, for all of our favorite people to gather in celebration with us. Sorrow, for the empty seats and the ones that would be celebrating in Heaven. I remember wondering what my groom was doing and thinking. The day itself captivated me in a nervous buzz. I had wondered if I would wake up and it would feel like any other day, as many other special days had begun in my life. I remember being thankful that it already felt set-apart and a bit ethereal. There is something a little odd about picking a date off of a calendar and saying, “That one! That’s the day that I am going to gather all of my friends and family together and throw a huge party and it will be the most memorable and celebrated day of the rest of my life!” But that is how it began. And here we were.
The ceremony was beautiful. Traditional, but with enough personal touches to make it unique and meaningful. Careful thought was put into each and every song, decoration, and spoken word. After it was over, the “fun” began!
The reception was held at a near-by country club and the wedding party arrived early to take pictures on the course. (sorry to all of the golfers who decided to play the next day. Our high heels made about 2,000 divets in the nearby greens). The country club lent us golf carts (what were they thinking?!) to voyage us to our picture locations. Naturally, I chose the passenger seat beside my groom. At the mention of golf carts, all of the boys were starting to get that wild gleam in their eyes. I specifically looked at N and said, “whatever you do, do not throw me out of this cart.” “Yes ma’am” he replied. Cue ironic laughter now.
The unfortunate girls, such as myself, who had chosen to ride with a male passenger were at the mercy of all of this nervous tension being unleashed behind the wheels. Gauntlets were thrown, races were delivered, perfectly coiffed hair was whipped around. And somehow we managed to get a few pictures too.
We were rounding out the last of the pictures when our photographer called for just one more a couple of holes down. The line-up of golf carts followed him along the cart path and I hear a beckons from the cart behind. “Hey, K & N, can you turn around for a picture?”
(didn’t it turn out cute, too?)
Next thing I remember, I woke up on the ground. Yes, the ground. Apparently the carts in front of us had come to a complete stop much sooner than my driver anticipated. We crashed into them (no damage was done to the carts) and I, the bride, flew from seat, to windshield, to ground. All within the course of a few seconds.
And that is when my wedding day stopped for about one total minute. Nobody breathed, nobody moved.
I really, really wanted to cry, but I felt the weight of everyone’s emotions on me. If I cried, their night would be ruined too, or at least significantly awkward,. So I got up, dusted myself off, picked up the flowers that had been tossed from my bouquet and said something witty that everyone feigned laughter chuckled at. The show must go on. Or at least that’s what it looked like in my head. N apologized about 1,000 times and we brought everyone together for one last picture.
The drive back to the country club was quite calm and quiet. It was too early for everyone to have moved on and way, way too early for it to be funny.
But it didn’t slow us down a second from having a great time that night. From the DJ forgetting to introduce one of the couples in our line-up, to the cake looking completely different from the one I ordered, to the DJ playing the wrong song for the guys’ dance (what was WITH that DJ anyway???), there were plenty of things to laugh about.
And let’s revisit the guys’ dance. The one that they spent hours in the hotel parking lot perfecting the day before the wedding. Possibly the first known record of a wedding flash mob (too bad video cameras on phones weren’t the standard in 2006, I just know it would have been a YouTube sensation). The entire room, and I mean workers, wedding planners (the trio), everyone stopped and watched their performance. And were still talking about it for weeks to come. Thankfully that moment way outshone my little golf cart incident.
But all too soon, the hour of the night approached us and it was time to go. It felt like it had been over in just a blink. We didn’t even have a chance to talk to all of our guests, nor eat more than a few bites of cake and that was it.
We left to a grandparade of sparklers that actually seemed a lot less dangerous/smoky in my head. But once again, this wedding was not about us! And it was over! Off to Jamaica to honeymoon and then to begin our lives. Together.
And boy and girl lived happily ever after.
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am so thankful for my groom, my MG, and my Mayby. I am also thankful for you, my readers and friends. I’m signing off until next week….enjoy the holiday!
Today Mayby is the size of a lemon….or so they say.
These are all things that have happened to me in past month.
Nice or Creepy? You decide.
Scenario 1: I am exiting Hobby Lobby with a baby on the hip and a glass lamp in the other hand (too independent for a cart!). A high school aged boy runs over and asks me if I need help and then procedes to open the door for me.
Decision: Nice. How can you not love a willing teen in this day and age? And the fact that it happened at Hobby Lobby only solidifies my love for that place.
Scenario 2: I’m at a gas station, pumping gas with MG on my hip (I had to take her inside to pay so I was giving her a lesson on pumping because we had time to kill). A late twenties gentleman appears out of nowhere and asks if he can help. Hold my baby? Pump the gas?
Decision: Creep factor is high. He looked like a genuine person, but I’m not letting anyone get their hands near my chile, that includes you, Glenda the check out lady!
Addendum: I happened to pull out behind his truck (which had an army vet bumper sticker). Heart softened. While we are waiting at the red light, he suddenly gets out of his truck. I lock my doors. Seriously, what is going on. He waves me around him and then I see him help push a broken-down vehicle out of the intersection. Okay, crisis averted. He found his good deed for day and my faith is restored in humanity. Nice!
Scenario 3: I’m currently outside of MG’s room as I type this. She is asleep in her crib with her favorite doll. The one who happens to talk and giggle. And it keeps talking and giggling at random times.
Decision: Creepy. Time to “hide” baby and replace it with one that is a little less…ahem…noisy.
Enjoy you day…whatever nice or creepy things come your way!
I didn’t really know what to think of the terrible two’s. On one hand, they terrified me. On the other hand, I thought
The so-called terrible two’s and the tantrums associated with them seemed to startin our house around 18 months and are still going strong. Perhaps another six months or so. Then things will magically turn right before Mayby comes. Right?
I’m going to be honest, this stage has been hard on me. Probably put a few gray hairs on my head……not that I’ve looked lately :). And if someone ever asks me what my favorite age is, without the perspective of time of course, I don’t think I’ll say this one.
Our days are filled with extremes: extreme joy, anger, excitement, frustration, hunger, satiation, fatigue, energy, and the list goes on.
There are moments I savor that bring great joy to my heart. More joy than ever because I begin to see her sweet personality emerge. And there are times that I want to move quickly on from because they bring great sorrow. Where little one and I both become frustrated with one another over things that feel so minor to her and so major to me. Or vice versa. This is probably where you concede that having two females in the house can sometimes lend itself to a battle of wills.
At the end of the hard days I cling to those savory moments and remind myself that this too shall pass. –both the good and the bad!
I guess I tend to prefer things to be just a little more predictable.
We are constantly wavering between moods and attitudes, avoiding pitfalls, foresighting shortcomings, and overlooking rookie mistakes.
And it’s a lot of hard work.
Pardon the analogy, but this stage feels a lot like obedience school.
Our little pup is pushing her boundaries and we are tightening them up. Giving her opportunities for success and failure, lavishly cheering the victories and gently correcting the blunders.
But our hope is that we will wear ourselves out put a ton of work in now that will pay off in just a year or two. Or whenever she decides to graduate with honors from our little training course.
“MG, come here!” means that sometimes she will come obediently but most of the time she will run in the opposite direction with a mischievous giggle. So badly I want to laugh it off, be silly and pretend like I’m not really chasing her when I eventually flag her down. And times do call for silliness. But now is not one of them. First, first she has to learn to obey. Then we can stretch the boundaries and welcome spontaneity and learn the difference between silly and serious.
Right now is a time to learn “come here” means “come here…right now”. Because this obedience is invaluable not only when it doesn’t matter, but also when it really does. Like when she is near the street or in a crowded grocery store or on the edge of danger.
The hope is that the more work we put in now, the less we will have to later.
And there has definitely been some exciting progress in recent days:
Like when she spotaneously said, “THANK YOU” to Daddy this morning.
Or when I say “Can you?” And she immdiately says “yep!” and does it.
Or when I can truthfully say, “great job” and mean it with all of my heart.
It’s a little progress each day and a little goes a long way.
Truthfully, I am so proud of her and the success she has made already. Every once in a while I will feel or see glimpses of the future and it is so bright. I am so thankful that God chose me to walk this path with her and her Daddy. And if this is as bad as it gets? Bring on the terrible, rotten, no-good threes!
So in the excitement of announcing our pregnancy, I completely skipped over Halloween.
Not that I think I’m some sort of celebrity with a FAQ section,
but the truth is, as soon as you announce your pregnancy, you tend to get asked a lot of the same questions.
1) How are you feeling? Terrible. Can I be honest? Absolutely terrible. I’ve been nauseated morning, noon, and night since 5.5 weeks. I’ve had a few days of reprieve in recent weeks, most notably around weeks 9-10, but it came back with a vengeance last week. Consider that this reprieve came after 32 days of feeling like I was on the verge of food poisoning. I hate to complain, but seeing as how I haven’t been able to vomit out all of my sickness, I’m going to vomit out my feelings. Even my “good days” aren’t in reality all that great. A good day is waking up feeling normal, eat breakfast, two hours later feel nauseated. Eat whatever carbs are on hand that haven’t already been deemed adverse in order to slay it. Repeat every two hours. This must be timed well with bedtime otherwise, tossing and turning will be met with a rolling stomach.
But that is considered a good day because I don’t have to function with the constant nagging feeling that I am going to vomit everywhere. Add onto this: extreme fatigue, raging hormones, and eating things that the inside of my body rarely sees. These things mingled together have put me in somewhat of a depressive funk. I just haven’t felt like myself in weeks. And that has surprisingly(?) caught me off guard. However, the light is at the end of the tunnel. This trimester ends on Saturday and it can only get better from here, right?
That is my honest answer to that question, however, I hope it doesn’t diminish the fact that this pregnancy was so desired and longed-for. I know that there are many women who would do anything to have a bout of morning sickness. I feel you. So please don’t take this in any way as ungratefulness.
2) Were you sick with your first? Yes and no. With MG, I got sick on the exact same day, 5.5 weeksinto it. I threw up a lot more in the beginning, but I think that’s just because I didn’t realize that eating somehow curbs the puking. It’s a very weird thing. I just don’t remember it lasting this long or being this intense. Maybe that’s because I wasn’t chasing around a toddler at the time or maybe it’s because this time I was on a progesterone supplement (which they say magnifies your symptoms) Or maybe it’s just because it is the second. Who really knows? It’s a very strange thing.
3) Do you have any cravings? Just like last time, cravings and aversions both. Cravings come on strong and must.be.satisfied.asap. Mostly to comfort foods: mac and cheese, biscuits and gravy, avocadoes, peanut butter, turkey sandwiches, pb&j’s, cheese.etc. The most surprising has been mayo. Not like I want to eat it plain or anything (sick!), but I want it on sandwiches and find myself dreaming about things that are made from it. Surprising because non-pregnant me sees mayo and wants to gag. But somehow it becomes not only acceptable, but desirable come pregnancy.
Once a craving has been obtained, and deemed desirable, I must have it one other time. And one other time only. After that, the craving has officially been satisfied and I do not want to see it ever.again. Aversions have been to meat, vinegar-y things, sweets that aren’t sour, and anything with a strong odor. Most unfortunately, this time of year I usually gorge myself on PSL’s, Reese’s pumpkins, and copious handfuls of mallow-creme pumpkins. This year, I haven’t had a single bite/sip. Not even a candy corn. I think I’ll buy a couple of bags on clearance and save them for when I am finally in the mood. Such a shame to be sick during this time of year.
4) Does MG know that she is going to be a big sis? Nope. She has absolutely no concept of it. She is a sweet and nurturing little soul to her babies, so I’m really hoping that trait pays off. Worthy of note: recent time spent with a few newborns definitely shows some jealousy issues springing up. Trying to figure out now how best to handle this. Any advice?
5) Are you going to find out what you are having? YES! No part of me wants to wait. I want to find out early and often. Which always leads too…
6) Do you have a preference? I’d be lying if I said I/we didn’t. I’m sure I’ll share more on that later.
7) Do you have any inklings? Yes. More on that later too. But let’s not forget, I was wrong last time.
8) Do you have a name picked out? Of course! I’m too much of a planner to leave that one to whim. In fact, shortly after MG was born, I felt the burning desire to name siblings for her. Only because I wanted to make sure I would like them for a lengthy amount of time.
We are both highly attached to our girl name and have settled on a boy name too. I also have two alternates, one boy and girl. Have I ever mentioned how I have a peculiar fascination with baby names? I’m sure I’ll touch on that later. Until then, we’ve decided to call it Mayby (and if a certain pop song did NOT just make its way through your head, consider yourself a winner in the pop culture wars! seriously, I am envious)
9) Are you sharing it? Uh-uh. Nope. Sorry. Just like last time, we will keep you in suspense till the bitter (and considering the way my body loves to be pregnant), I do mean bitter end.
10) Will you consider the epidural this time? Consider it? Yes. Beg for it again? Probably. To say I haven’t been more than a little preoccupied with the thought of back labor and lengthy pushes again would be a lie. Last time was different. Last time I was blissfully naive. This time, I have to have a solid gameplan in place or else I’m going to spend the next 6 months paralyzed in pre-labor purgatory. Part of that gameplan has been to switch doctors to a practice that will give me up to two weeks before forcing an induction (of course pending on the baby’s and my health) and to a hospital that will allow me to have access to a birthing tub (not to give birth in which is illegal here, but to labor in). The birthing tub is my focal point. It is the one thing I did not get to try last time and I think it would have made a world of difference in my pain management. At least that is what I am hyping myself up with. Second babies come faster and easier…right? RIGHT? Did you hear that, Mayby? Mama is counting on you!
Thanks for your interest (whether intentional or not!) friends,
Personal note: Of course now that I have shared my exciting news, I have a whole host of new topics to discuss! But my basic blog philosophy will remain the same…I’ll still be sharing glimpses of our life, new mama advice, cute pics of MG etc. Plus, I really want to share the entire story of our Mayby. I’m working on it, but I still need some time to do it justice. So hang in here with me as I interrupt our regularly scheduled programming with some pregnancy-related stuff. But know that I‘m still the same Sweet Mama K. Just with a little spring in my step and bump on my belly 🙂
I’m adding inches too my waistline, losing hair, having several emotional “crises”, feeling rather grumpy, and losing sleep. No, I’m not turning into a middle-aged man,
In honor of gaining an extra hour of sleep this weekend, here’s to losing many more come May.
Mayby on Vimeo.
There’s a story and a half about our Mayby, but for now, I will entice you with this quote:
“Well, you know how it feels if you begin hoping for something that you want desperately badly; you almost fight against the hope because it is too good to be true; you’ve been disappointed so often before. But it was no good trying to throttle this hope. It might – really, really, it just might be true. So many odd things had happened already.” – C.S. Lewis from the magician’s nephew