Today marks 7 months, or just over 32 weeks. Now that we are in the single digits for weeks remaining, time is just flying!
The baby is the size of a head of lettuce (but it went from a butternut squash, to a coconut, to a lettuce so not sure what that’s about). She weighs four pounds and has almost reached the length she’ll be when we meet her. So basically from here on out, she just fattens up and gets ready for birth. (Sounds familiar ?)
Speaking of fattening up, I am feeling so large and maxed out. My skin feels tight and stretched to impossible proportions. I’m just not sure how (or where!) I’m going to continue to grow for two more months. At the same time, the thought of bringing home a newborn right now is a little frightening, so thinking about having two more months to prepare for that feels necessary.
Physically speaking, I’ve been sewing a few more items and buying a few little things here and there to make this birth special. I’ve washed and prepped all of the newborn clothes and they’re all hanging up in her closet. I don’t think I will do very much to the already existing nursery, except kick Bea out at some point-ha!
Last time I wrote that I thought she may be transverse, but I’m pretty sure I felt her move that very same day to head down and I would bet that she is still there now. The trick is to keep her that way and also for her not to be sunny side up like MG, because back labor is for the birds. (so for whomever prayed for her to move head down last time, can you keep up your prayers for me??)
My bladder feels like it has a bowling ball on it and my stomach, cramped in place, has lost it’s voracious appetite of the early days. I can never get enough water, however, and it must be ice, ice cold. This baby is so high up that I have no waist left whatsoever (speaking of bowling balls….). I hate bending over and will avoid it at all costs if possible. Thankfully my girls, who naturally are a lot closer to the ground, are willing to retrieve dropped items for me, saving me the agony whenever possible. My skin is so veiny, it is almost purple, and a nurse confirmed that “I’m a bleeder” after giving me a shot in the arm. Basically I’m a walking pregnancy ad.
I’m still sleeping well and praying off insomnia for now. I’m starting to get a little more energy back in the afternoons but a busy day really wipes me out more so than ever.
Mentally, my preparation has been a bit off. I haven’t given much thought to labor or even very much about the logistics of getting the girls taken care of while traveling the hour to the hospital. I think this is mostly because I know I can’t control either of those things so I find it easier not to overthink them.
I have been feeling a lot of stress this month, especially, and I don’t know if it’s coming from something external or just an off-shoot of the aforementioned attempt at not being stressed. With MG, I was blissfully excited and a little naive; with Bea, I feared labor and delivery, but this stress feels different than both of those feelings. Sometimes at the end of the day, my stomach muscles feel tight, hard and achey, almost as if I’m carrying the stress there.
My Sunday School teacher (Mr. Jay Kesler, for those of you from TU or evangelical parents in the 90’s-ha!) gave me an image I’ve been meditating on this week. He said he was recently visiting a good friend who is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. This friend was having a moment of clarity and said to Jay, “My mind isn’t right these days. But you know that painting that hangs in the church of Jesus with the lamb? I am the lamb, Jay. He is carrying me”
I’ve seen this painting, or some form of it, probably 100’s of times in my life. It is so background to my visual that it never really meant anything to me or really even registered with me. But as I thought about the little lamb being carried by Jesus, it instantly brought me peace. It also reminded me of this verse, one that has always meant something to me with each pregnancy, “He tends His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.” Isa 40:11
I am meeting with my doula in a few weeks so I will have to start giving some more thought to labor, but after I hope to compile some other verses that have helped me through labor as well as my playlist for birth (#hippie). My plan is to share them on here when I do and also on my @051816mayby account as well.
P.S. here is my 30 week update with Bea
and here is my 32 week update with her. Funny how similar the feelings are to last time at this point.