Over Spring Break, after much quality family time together, I realized that a dark cloud was hanging over me.  Before I could move on and fully embrace the new life and family that was to come, I had to mourn the one I was leaving behind.  

The grief surprised me, and although short-lived, it was profound. 

Out of that sadness came this:

Dearest MG,

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Though you ask questions all the time and wonder often about your little sister, I suspect that you do not realize that your life is about to change.

Change is good.  It brings us things like seasons and birthdays and new favorites.

But change can also be hard.  Especially for people like you and I, who thrive on our notions and routine.

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Once this change comes, there are a few things I will miss about our routine.  I will miss our easy mornings.  I will miss our leisurely, hour long baths.  I will miss your constant musings about Mayby.  I will miss our grab-and-go last-minute dashes out of the house.  I will miss giving you my full attention during our lunch time conversation.  I will miss our weekly dates to the doctor.  I will miss you giving Mayby kisses on my belly button every night.

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But I hope and pray that this change will bring about some beautiful things too.  That it will strengthen our relationship, that it will teach both of us invaluable lessons, and that it will deepen our love; both for each other and for the third member that will be joining our collective “Daddy’s girls”.

All I know is that when you came into our lives, we found places in our heart to love you that we never knew existed.  You opened our eyes in new ways to the world.  Something deep down and buried in our souls was touched.

 

You rocked our world but we never regretted it for an instant.

I can only imagine that there is room for more.  In all of us.

I love you, sweet girl.  You are and will always be my Big Girl, my first born, my perfectly-crafted  MG.

 

8 Comments on A Letter to My First Born

  1. Amy
    April 24, 2013 at 2:45 am (5 years ago)

    SO sweet!

    Reply
  2. Amy
    April 24, 2013 at 2:45 am (5 years ago)

    SO sweet!

    Reply
  3. Chrissie
    April 24, 2013 at 6:03 pm (5 years ago)

    Beautiful, Kate. I can so identify with your sadness. I felt that way at the end of Leah and Emily’s pregnancies. Life seems so full with each new child and it is hard to picture letting go of those precious moments you share with each child. But, I promise you, it is about to get so much more beautiful. Your heart will once again be opened in ways you didn’t know possible. I’m praying for a smooth end to the pregnancy and a peaceful transition into a family of 4.

    Reply
    • Sweet Mama K
      April 24, 2013 at 6:14 pm (5 years ago)

      Thanks so much, Chrissie! Especially good to hear from you!

      Reply
  4. Chrissie
    April 24, 2013 at 6:03 pm (5 years ago)

    Beautiful, Kate. I can so identify with your sadness. I felt that way at the end of Leah and Emily’s pregnancies. Life seems so full with each new child and it is hard to picture letting go of those precious moments you share with each child. But, I promise you, it is about to get so much more beautiful. Your heart will once again be opened in ways you didn’t know possible. I’m praying for a smooth end to the pregnancy and a peaceful transition into a family of 4.

    Reply
    • Sweet Mama K
      April 24, 2013 at 6:14 pm (5 years ago)

      Thanks so much, Chrissie! Especially good to hear from you!

      Reply

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