My Butternut Squash

This week Mayby is the size of a Butternut squash.

IMG_0324 copy

(My sweet and amazingly talented photographer friend, Kimmy, took these photos when we were eating dinner at her house one night.  My favorite thing about them is that they were taken in her backyard and truly capture the beauty of where we live in the last throes of winter.)

IMG_0329 copy

Well I am 30 weeks and that means a few things: bi-weekly doctor appointments; a terrible, uncontrollable urge to nest; waning energy; a growing and rather cumbersome belly; a bladder that will never be quiet; and that the countdown has officially begun!  10, 9, 8….each week that passes brings us closer and closer to meeting her.

It also means that starting next week, I will begin revealing some clues to her top-secret name!  But more on that later…

For all of you who so kindly ask me on a regular basis, I am proud to report that as far as nausea goes, I am feeling GREAT!  I have been for about the last 4 weeks.  Maybe my body has finally adjusted to this whole pregnancy thing? *update: so I wrote this PRIOR to last night when I came down with a case of full-blown first trimester nausea which I still haven’t kicked.  Verdict’s out to whether it is a fluke or will be sticking around till the end.  Wah Wah.*

It does, however, like to remind me of how large I am getting by giving me roaring joint pain at the end of the day, especially in my hips and lower back.  I guess they are stretching out and easing into preparation for what’s to come.

Sleep has still been good to me.  Other than catching myself trying to sleep on my back (bad) and stomach (worse), I am only waking a few times a night and then able to go right back to sleep.  As far as dreams?  I could write a book on their inspiration alone.  Most likely it would be a dystopian novel with a hastily concocted, cliffhanger ending.  No idea what’s fueling them.

There’s a song by Marc Broussard called “Lonely Night in Georgia.”  The lyrics speak of a man coming home to his wife after a long  journey and there’s a line that says, “Now my senses are heightened by the last hundred miles.”  I feel that.  My senses have been heightened.  My emotions are quick.  My heart is holding onto things ever tightly.  My feelings are sensitive.  My eyes and ears and hands are noticing the smallest of details.

It’s as if it is saying: “Your life is about to transform.  Notice this, remember this moment, savor this time.  It won’t ever be like this again.  Soon you will be changed.”

It makes me laugh and it makes me cry.  Both sometimes together.  Tis the life of the pregnant mama!


Oh we are waiting on you, Baby Girl. Two more months until you are ours!

Love ya, Papaya

This week Mayby is the size of a papaya…

 Or so they say.
Twenty-two weeks feels like a big accomplishment.  We are almost to the stage of (Heaven forbid) viability outside of the womb and each week that ticks by is a little sigh of relief.
So how are you feeling??
Well, I can’t say I’m not enjoying this pregnancy “sweet spot”.  The time right before I’m large and uncomfortable, but right after the yuckiness of the first trimester.  I am glad to land here for a while.  It is so nice to know a little about our Mayby and to start making  preparations for her arrival.  And I love feeling the regular kicks that I know I can count on when sitting or lying down or while enjoying a good meal :).  It was only at this point last time that I began to feel MG’s first kicks, due to the way the placenta was positioned.  So this is a welcome change.
I thought I was out of the woods with the sickness as I had about 2-3 days of absolutely no nausea whatsoever.  But lo and behold it reared its ugly head the past two nights starting around 10pm and lasting throughout my sleep.  That is all I have to complain about though so I feel very blessed.
Very blessed indeed as I have had some friends go through some trying things like infant loss and premature births in recent weeks.  It is so hard to understand why?  and why not me?  If I have taken anything away from their stories it is not to take this little wiggling life inside of me for granted.  I am so attached to her now, I feel it would destroy me if something happened to her.  In the beginning, it was different.  I gave her my heart but held a tiny piece of it back for the what ifs and the just in case.  And I always checked for blood and let myself be indifferent at the doctor’s office and had horrible miscarriage dreams where the only conclusion was, “well I knew this was going to happen.”  But we’ve since crossed the line. She is one of mine now.   Every night, I rub my hand across my ever-expanding belly, letting her know that I am there,  praying for the health and safety of my girls.  After all, there’s not much else I can do.
If there is anything I have learned from this pregnancy it is that she doesn’t belong to me.  She is a gift.  A beautiful and treasured gift that I will fight to appreciate every day that I have with her.
We love ya, Papaya.  See you in 4 months!


P.S.  Starting next week, I’ll be sharing the story of our Mayby, so stay tuned!

The Sweetest Potato

This week, Mayby is the size of a sweet potato.

But let’s be real, sweet potatoes come in all different shapes and sizes: some wimpy and tubular, others warped and overgrown.  So that doesn’t really give me much to go off of.
We have crossed into 18 weeks and surprisingly the nausea has still.not.left.  Granted, it is not nearly, NEARLY what it used to be.  But it still catches me off guard every single night has I reach for a snack, without fail, two hours after dinner.  It then resurfaces two hours after snack.  At least it is remedied by carbs.
No crazy cravings anymore, just normal ones (I get food cravings in regular life, not just pregnancy life).  Every day I’ve had some kind of soup and a grilled cheese for lunch.  Oh and those clementine cuties too.  I’ve never been fond of citrus other than grapefruits…but right now I can’t get enough.
Eighteen weeks also means that the BIG ultrasound is a little over a week away.  Still lots of thoughts to share about that (all to come next week).  But I’ve been having some crazy dreams about it lately.  The first one was pretty normal.  First they told me it was a boy, but then after careful examination said, “nope, it’s a girl.”  The second two both came on the same night and both involved somehow missing the ultrasound.  Which was crazy stressful because apparently we were driving from over two hours away and made it with only an hour to spare until closing.  The tech refused to see us but said that we were definitely having a boy.  That was fine, but I was sure that I needed proof.  I begged her to examine me, but she refused.  Ahh, the beautiful stage of crazy pregnancy dreams.  I’m ready for them just to put me out of my misery and tell me one way or the other.

Other than that, sleep has been pretty mercifully easy.  I still catch myself sleeping on my belly, but I know the time for that is drawing to a close.  About time to break out the body pillow!

N was able to feel our little potato kicking around for the first time last night.  It is crazy how much we’ve both forgotten since last time.  It makes this one feel new and fresh and I love that.
It has also made this pregnancy fly by.  We are nearing the half-way mark which is just ludicrous.  The mothering instinct is kicking in hardcore as I try to figure out how to make room for another little person in my nest.
Only 5 more months!  Let the feathering begin!



Today Mayby is the size of a lemon….or so they say.

And that means one thing: I am feeling remarkably better! Woohoo!!  I turned the corner just in time for my favorite holiday—Thanksgiving. The nausea still comes on strong before every meal/snack but is quickly remedied and the next thing I know I am back to feeling like myself.  Food is still a somewhat tentative relationship, so maybe no pumpkin pie or yams for me this year (too sweet), but I’ll make up for it with plenty of turkey and dressing.  And oh yes, cranberry sauce.  Just talking about cranberries is making me weak in the knees right now.
My energy is slowly recharging and I no longer need that afternoon nap every single day.  Which means I’ve been having lots of fun catching up on crafts (MG’s bday is coming up soon!), scrapbooking, and some decorating.  No, not for Christmas…yet.  I just can’t go there.  But come November 23rd, as soon as the turkey is cool to the touch, our house will be blaring NSYNC’s “The First Noel” and will reek of pine.  I can’t wait.  Plus it snowed here once, randomly, but today it is a mild 62 degrees (still warm enough to walk outside!)  So I’m still not (thankfully) in the Christmas spirit yet.
MG has been my little buddy this week as Daddy has been putting in some extra hours.  And even as we have our moments, I can tell that she has one of the sweetest, most sensitive spirits.  I am eager to nurture that trait in her as she grows.  I have also been reminded this week how blessed I am that she loves babies so much.  From being mesmerized and wanting to know the constant whereabouts of a friend’s Baby Hannah to holding newborn baby Eli’s hand while his mom changed him to spending hours changing all of her baby’s “poopy” diapers this week (her imagination, not mine :)). I am so thankful that God gave her such a mama heart.  And even though I know this change will be very hard on her in many ways, I have a feeling that she will initially welcome Mayby with open arms and very curious eyes.
Mayby has been on my mind and heart all week this week.  When sick, it was hard for me to get excited about the pregnancy like I did with MG. That was really hard on me.  But now that I am feeling better, I am starting to recapture some of that magical new mama emotion.  Like the swoony, weepy, love that I feel when I see a picture of a newborn or hear a new love song.  I can’t hardly stand the wait to find out which little baby I am carrying in there, but God has given me a sense of peace and calm towards this pregnancy that I didn’t feel last time.  And I want to feel everything.  I want to enjoy every stage. (well, from here on out, at least).  I want to relish every ounce of this pregnancy because this time there is so little unknown.  We know what that love feels like and looks like.  We know the beauty in the end result.  We know that our hearts grew about 3 times with the birth of MG and we know there is room for more.  This time we will slow down and enjoy the process.
We have so much to be thankful for, here’s to a week’s worth of Thanksgiving!